DUMPY - THE 8TH DWARF

Even though I've taken a brief hiatus from blogging, my mind is still going a million miles an hour. I have thought lots about this blog, though my activity on it does not reflect it.

Anyways, a few months ago I was involved in a voice competition. I received lots of great feedback, but one judge in particular put me to thinking. One of her criticisms on my first round was that I need to wear something more formal. I took that gracefully, and dressed up more for the second round. The next day, I received my comments and she mentioned that I have a glorious voice and I shouldn't dress it in something dumpy.

This sent me over the edge, and I didn't know what to do. After lots of discussing and thinking, I determined why this bothered me so much. In Junior High and High School, I spent a lot of my time convincing myself that looks didn't matter or define my worth as a young woman. By the time I got to college, I had learned that lesson pretty thoroughly.

When that adjudicator wrote that comment, I felt that all those years of convincing myself that looks didn't define my worth were being challenged more than ever. I was distraught. How dare this woman tell me that my looks defined my worth as a singer.

Well, I calmed down. And my Mom taught me a great lesson. She helped me realize that
1 - I was right. Looks didn't define my individual worth as a Woman. And
2 - Dressing up so my outside matched my inside wasn't a bad thing and didn't improve my          worth, it just reflected it.

Anyways, it was a weird lesson to learn, and very hard to describe. But I learned that I could look nice and worry a bit more about how I looked while believing that it didn't define my Divine Worth.

P.S. Yay for great hair days!!!!!!!

NAKED

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to participate in an Alexander Technique (voice stuff) Masterclass. It was life changing. I wish I could put the experience into words. Imagine being stripped of all cautionary behavior, wearing your fears on your sleeves, and dissolving all of your walls. That is what I experienced. I felt more like myself, more awesome, than I have ever felt in my life.

With tears in my eyes, I sang with my heart, my whole heart, and I was told it was more striking than anything I had done before. I felt pure and unadulterated. I wish I could be like that all the time. From now on, I plan to dedicate my life and career to doing just that - purifying mine and others' lives.

It is amazing what connecting with human beings can do to you. Vulnerability is incredible. I think I will post a video of my experience soon. But I will have to watch it first. Until then, enjoy this ted talk from Brene Brown about vulnerability. Your mind will be blown.