WHAT DO YOU DESERVE?

As an awesome human being, what do you truly deserve?

Today, much like any other day, I found myself burdened down with things to do and not enough energy to do them, yet alone think about them. The thought popped into my head, "I wish I could just sit and watch tv. I deserve it."

Something in my mind came alive as if it wanted to strangle the thought- "You deserve it? You deserve to put off responsibilities? education? work? etc? Just so you can watch Gilmore Girls?"

I was a bit shocked that my mind could respond to itself so quickly. But the conversation I had inside my head was illuminating. If I am a truly phenomenal being, then it's not hours of television I deserve. I deserve to work hard and become a better person. I deserve to become like God. I deserve to be exalted. And I think it will be a bit difficult to be

Now, this does NOT mean that we shouldn't ever watch movies, tv, or be entertained. We need to to care of our bodies, and relaxation is an important part of self-care.  But today, I learned to never say, "I deserve to watch tv." Because I'm awesome. And I deserve to become more awesome.

Just a thought.

ON BEING AN AWESOME RM

Growing up, I listened to countless farewells and homecomings and was a firsthand witness of the changes that serving a mission causes. Thanks to a plenitude of homecoming talks and lack of real-life mission experiences, I grew up believing that an awesome missionary = someone who was exactly obedient, learned how to constantly commune with the Lord, memorized all scriptures, knew the doctrine perfectly, had this burning desire to climb every mountain and share their testimony with everyone they saw, baptized a lot, followed the spirit every moment of every day, and learned every other thing that a missionary is "supposed" to learn on their mission. These were only some of the things that I thought would qualify me as an awesome missionary. I bet that you were once or still are subject to some of these expectations as well. Don't lie. You know what I'm talking about.

When I left on my mission, I realized very quickly what a lie all of this was. But it was difficult to morph my expectations. 18 months later, I stood in front of hundreds of friends and family and spoke about my experiences as a missionary. I was still ashamed that I hadn't become a true "return missionary" because I wasn't in constant communion with God, or I still hadn't mastered scriptures or prayer or even developed a fiery desire to stop everyone I saw and drag them to a baptismal font. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!? Why wasn't I THE returned missionary that I had always admired growing up. I LEARNED ALL THE WRONG THINGS!!!!

Now, it's 8 months later and I am finally beginning to realize that I was an Awesome Missionary, and I am now an Awesome Returned Missionary (ARM). Maybe I didn't have picture perfect lessons, 10+ baptisms, and maybe I didn't learn how to receive answers to prayer. But that's not what matters. What matters is that I learned something - no matter how strange or unexpected. That's what makes me an ARM, and nobody can tell me otherwise.

Don't let yourself believe that you are not Awesome when your experiences are not the same as everyone else's. You are awesome. Period.

VALIDATION

At any given moments our minds are filled with a combination of negative and positive thoughts.
Self-deprecating thoughts come from Satan.
     I should do this, and this, and this.
     I don't do anything well.
     Nobody likes me.

Uplifting thoughts come from God.
     I am important.
     I am doing the best I can.
     I am loved.
And every time we react to others, we are choosing to validate Satan's thoughts or God's thoughts.
What kinds of thoughts are you validating?

FEEL THE AWESOME

Feeling Awesome is... Wearing your old lady night gown to bed. Eating deep fried sushi. Reading books before you fall asleep. Praying with roommates. Getting a new car and feeling free. Letting your roommates dress you. Finding a new outfit. Lying on the floor.

THE SECRET

Depression has always been one of those taboo topics. It's not talked about much, yet so many suffer from it. I love this video that wisely and accurately explains depression. He is wise. And you would be wise to take twenty minutes to educate yourself so that you, too, can understand what so many people suffer with.