HOLD ON

I really enjoyed this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

One of my favorite things he said was,
"Trust in God. Hold on in His love."

I like that he said, hold on IN his love, instead of TO his love. That one word makes such a difference. Because when you are struggling with trials as big as mental illness, it's hard to imagine holding onto anything, yet alone something intangible. Truly, God's love never leaves. We don't need to be frantically holding onto what is left of his love. He has surrounded us in it, it will just always be there. All we have to do is endure enveloped and enfolded IN his love.

"Child, hold on.
It's this day, not you,
That's bound to go away!"

Song starts at 1:04.

OKAY

When you have a mental illness, it is all about learning to be okay with imperfection - giving your best effort to the most important priorities and letting other things fall where they may. This isn't giving up or being lazy, it is recognizing the human condition.  Oftentimes, when I am late for something or I give less than 100%, it gnaws at my heart and my stomach for an extended amount of time. Like Jeffrey R. Holland said, it feels like a "crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their soldiers and think more positively." My mind can't seem to move on until someone tells me "It's okay."

Since being diagnosed with OCD, I have been developing an invaluable skill - the ability to tell myself that "it's okay" and believe it. You could say that this is my mantra. When I'm late for class and I can't get over the fact that I was late, I can tell myself that it's okay. When I lose my patience with someone and can't stop obsessing over how bad of a person I am, I can tell myself that it's okay.

I'm not perfect. Ain't nobody got time for that. And that's okay.

WORDS - EPISODE 1

I receive e-mails from an organization called Nerd Fitness. I highly recommend receiving the e-mails. They are often inspirational and apply to many things beyond fitness. I want to share their thoughts with you in a series of posts.

"Words are more powerful than you realize:
      In Middle Earth, they allow you to open Dwarven doors.
      In Skyrim, they allow the Dragonborn to rain tornadoes down up on foes.
      In Hogwarts, they allow you to levitate, transform, and even kill.

Here on Earth, what we read, write, and speak each day impacts our life in ways we've never imagine.
Your words are working behind the scenes to improve your day or sink your chances at living a better life.

Well, as Professor Dumbledore so eloquently states: "Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it."

And that dude is a wizard, so you might want to listen to him."

I WANT TO SEE YOU BE BRAVE

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Every stress of the week seemed to pile up until I felt that I was drowning in my to-do list. As I took the long walk back to my car, I could feel myself giving up. The anxiety was mounting, the depression was nesting. I felt like the walking dead. But then, I had a moment of bravery and collected all the emotional and mental strength I could and said,

"Self, you got this."

Through this simple decision, I think that several days of wallowing and anxiety battles were avoided.

It's hard, but so worth it to be brave.

This is one of my new favorite songs

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven:"
-Matthew 5:44-45

Sometimes, our greatest enemy is ourself. All day long we are picking at our weaknesses, dwelling on past mistakes, and swimming in negative self-talk. If that doesn't sound like an enemy, I don't know what is. Love yourself, focus on your strengths, think positively, and then you will be who God made you to be - His child.

ISSUE vs. IDENTITY

“If there’s one thing I see as the biggest problem, it’s not in building a world where we eliminate the ignorance of others. It’s in building a world where we teach acceptance of ourselves. We’re okay with who we are, because when we get honest we see that we all struggle, we all suffer…. We all know what it is to hurt…. And we all know how important it is to heal.”

Weaknesses, illnesses, and mistakes are “an issue, not an identity.”

Start at 7:35 for my favorite part of the video.