Of Dreams & Confidence

I walked into my graduate school acting/movement class. I was so extraordinarily happy to see my colleagues, Ricardo, Anne Marie and Chelsea among others. I was late, and wearing the fanciest clothes you ever did see. But I didn't care. I didn't care what my peers or teacher thought. And that's when I knew it was a dream.

I woke up from this dream a few weeks ago and loved the lesson I learned. Without having to actually relive my Masters degree, I was able to see how things might be different, now. A big portion of me wishes, "If only I could complete that degree with more confidence or less worry about what others thought. Maybe then..." Maybe then, what?

I would be singing full-time right now?
My recovery post-grad wouldn't have been necessary?
I would have received more opportunities?
Maestro and DK would have loved and adored the ground I walked on?

Maybe so. Maybe, had I developed more confidence everything would be different. The further away I am from my degree, the more passionately I believe that we should spend less time trying to stuff information into people's heads and  more time teaching them the tools to overcome mental obstacles and develop genuine confidence. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we valued personal and interpersonal skills over information? It would be Badass. The world would be the biggest badass you ever did see. And that's the world I'm going to work towards in any way I know how.

FRIDAY FIVE - January 25

Here are 5 things that are adding joy to my life:

1. A new financial experiment - Last week, Jordan Page of @funcheaporfree challenged her followers to do a spending freeze for a week. I was mostly successful. And I learned a ton about my spending habits, what spending truly brings me joy, and when the dollars flying out of my wallet is more frivolous. The greatest truth I learned is that it is possible for me to use all of the produce I purchased. And that eating out genuinely brings me joy and gives me a special meal to look forward to. I highly recommend doing a spending freeze.



2. Quick meal life hack - One of my favorite quick meals to have ready in emergencies is a sweet box of Pasta-roni Shells with White Cheddar. I was eating out of my pantry a lot this week, and really low on time so, I ate those shells more than I would like to admit. BUT, to spice it up and add some variety to my favorite quick meal, I added some Costco rotisserie chicken and some cajun spice. It was so good. I think cajun seasoning is a fun spice to add to any ordinary meal.

3. A New Jam - My friend Sam introduced me to this song, and if you have ever been a fan of Arthur or Chance the Rapper, you HAVE to listen to this. You're Welcome.

4. I went to the live recording of this podcast episode of Awesome with Alison and it was very informative and energizing for me. She offers a download of the notebook I LOVE the prompts. Ever since this experience, I've been hard at work really clarifying my vision and direction.



5. I've had super curly hair since I was 11. And it's taken me so long to figure out how to take care of it and how to style it so I don't feel like a cave man or a 1980's aerobic instructor. One thing that has taken me too long to discover is wearing a silk scarf to bed at night.

Friday Five - January 4

Here are Five Things that are blessing my life lately:

1. Bread Machine - I make bread on an almost weekly basis, and it greatly contributes to my overall happiness, as you might guess.

2. I invested a tiny bit of money in redesigning my bed. I bought a new bed spread, some decorative pillows and new sheets. This small investment brightened my room and makes me feel like a professional person.

3. @MsRachelHollis on instagram. Rachel and Dave Hollis do a live morning show on instagram. It is a bit ridiculous but also productive and informative. I listen to them during my first hours at work and laugh and the real life-ness they share and feel empowered to go after my dreams like they do. They talk about useful life skills, but also are down-to-earth humans who complain about their kids and getting sick. It is a fun addition to my day.

4. I started reading the Artist's Way again by Julia Cameron. I didn't finish the first time, so I'm hoping I do this time. I am only in the introductory chapters, but I'm already loving it. In these chapters she has already focused so much on how much God is linked to creativity (God being whatever you believe it to be). And it is inspiring me to truly let go, and let God direct my creative endeavors.

5. I have been thinking about this quote, found in Julia Cameron's book:

"God must become an activity in our consciousness."

- Joel S. Goldsmith